Why does my inner child still believe she is apart? And looks for that someone with the key to her heart? That lost little girl just waiting for you to take her hand Believes she can’t survive if she on her own has to stand
But what that little girl just don’t catch Is that no one outside has a key that’s a match All along, I have been the one holding the key The love she longs for is inside of me!
I have to realise that you are way too much in fear The games your mind play mean you can’t have me near I appreciate ‘our space’ but know I have to let you go I have to find my strength, that I to my own heart owe
I owe my heart to be with ‘you’ Who can love me so fully all my patterns undo Who can be authentic, distinguishable from the ‘coof’ A grownup manifesting the love of truth!
Until the day ‘you’ will appear I’ll love my heart and all its fear I’ll be the wholeness of a burning presence For ‘you’ to appear in the light of my essence
Then we can flow into the play of love Manifesting qualities from high above The light will shine through me, and I’ll know I’m not lost Being true to my heart no matter the cost!
I am sorry for creating a world of fury and fire It hurt me when you ignored me and ran away Your detachment made my pain rise higher Couldn’t understand why you didn’t stay
A pain so high I lost my own sense of being The trauma of not having worth Disturbed the truth my heart was seeing A disturbance constructed at birth
But my heart does see you didn’t mean to cause me pain And your escape was never about my worth But just your own paranoia, which was insane And inhibited something new to be nourished to birth
I guess it happened ’cause my soul needed to learn That when losing my heart in a man who can’t stay true I’ll be in hell until the day my karmic imprint will burn Till the day, all my patterns of trauma undo
I do believe I am still with you in your mind And that you are suffering as well ’Cause something was so true and rare to find But the disturbance made us both fell
In the end, the beauty of the situation revealed That it was never really about you to set me free But my own opening within, which used to be sealed That now, I am open to embracing fully being me
Despite I’ll miss what we were and had The bond we shared and the truth underneath I thank you while still being in shock and sad Connecting to the earth under my feet
’Cause I know, one day the contraction will transform Into openness, wholeness and expansion once more When something new is ready to be born and grow The beauty and bliss I will again be and adore!
I have a wound in my being Which affects my blood and sight All that flows through me All that I am seeing Is your neglect Your disrespect Devaluing my essence How can I ever trust myself In your arms again? How can I end my projections?
I must return home To heal my wound So I can start to feel and see The true reality around me That you don’t mean to cause me harm And what I put on you Merely is a reflection of my inner self An unloving internal voice Subconsciously convinced That I am not worthy of your love
Oblivious to the fact that I am already this love That I don’t need you for my Emotional survival Break this mirror of illusion I want to heal my wound To live authentically again Valuing, respecting and loving The essence I shine from within Shedding this victim narrative Bringing back my power
No drugs can release the feeling of depression and fear Why do I lose myself so much when you are not here? I wish I could drown my feelings in sugar and drugs Though in truth, I know what I need is my own love and hugs
Why have I left myself so isolated and frozen? Why has my soul this lonely life chosen? So dissociated, so sad and confused Feeling fatigued, frustrated, used
The same soundtrack of melancholic lines Repeatedly display my thoughts and rewind All the unhappy places I wished I left behind It consumes my being, the truth of love I cannot find
Feeling sick to the bone in your absence of presence I said I’d be fine, but that’s only true when I live from my essence And the opening in my heart when you were here Left a hole of emptiness, struggle and despair
I know they didn’t mean to cause me sorrow and pain But it’s so deeply ingrained that it flows through my veins It’s a karmic imprint at the base of my being The truth of love and light I no longer am seeing
Like a crack in a clay jaw, a ray of light might occasionally shine through But only with the idea and thought of an imaginary you You who could love the unloved, who could be all that I need But in truth, it’s just an illusion with an unstoppable hunger I feed
The sorrow and pain they put me through growing up Has left a reservoir of disturbed emotions keeping my lifeforce stuck It’s like a filter of hurt to watch the world trough So what they did back then, I now see in you too
I know you told me you didn’t mean to cause me harm and sadness But the story repeats in my head’s heavy madness I wanna break free, find the strength to undo what I am seeing To crack the jaw open, so light of love can flow through my being
The flow of love shall come from deep within my heart So I no longer look outward for healing my broken parts To recognise the truth that everyone just wanna be love But life broke them too, so they had no more to give of
So I’ll practise ending my story of love being mugged A narrative of abandonment, of someone broken and unloved I’ll remove the filter from the eyes of my being So what no longer serves me, I am lovingly freeing