Original artwork, Original poetry


You destroy our love with your anger and rage
Your damaged mind keep me encaged
You force me to leave and force me to stay
Force me to listen, to look, to obey

Your anger so violently perfuses my space
My heart closes down while you argue your case
Screaming, demanding, but in truth falling short
A master of destruction while you bring me to court

Asking me to justify a lifetime of hurt and unfairness
Your victimhood story on repeat without any awareness
I don’t want your pain, anger and frustration under my skin
I am not your perpetrator, your enemy, your mental bin

Your powerful energies of destruction get trapped
In my body as hardness, my lifeforce gets tapped
It activates so much fear in my mind, and being
Your destructive energies are all that I am seeing

I run away to let the wind of peace blow my fears away
But when I return home ‘the angry Hulk’ shows his dismay
In a blink of an eye, you raise your hand in furry and fire
A scary scene from my life filled with sadness, fear and dire

You chase me through the darkness, and I can’t get away
Like a horror movie, you hunt me down and force me to stay
Screams like a psycho lost all control and sense of decency
Your anger and fury is the cause of my heart’s vacancy

Beneath your anger, I do know there is sorrow and sadness
But please stop blaming me for all your mental madness
Stop forcing me to be a certain way to please your will
Keep acting this way, and my affection and love, you will kill!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Longing for Oneness

Paralysed when I don’t hear from you
My words of insecurity I can’t undo
Tough as concrete but nothing new
You are not just one but quite a few!

The story is the same with many different faces
But seeing it in you, I can’t look at other places
I want you back in my life, as with my presence
When will I fully be love? Be fully my essence?

Will you come back and be my heart’s vocation?
Or must I stay forever in this prison of penalisation?
Or is my freedom in the ‘not escaping’ sensation?
Life is freedom if not lived in paralysing separation

In longing for oneness, I see I long for you ‘man’
who can open my being; is it something you can?
And can I let you love me fully into fluidity once again?
Then my love will expand without being sprained

I often wonder if my longing for hearing from you
Could be healed just by deeply knowing my blue
In reality, is a gateway to my heartbeating’s glue
Realising being with myself IS to be with you too

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry


Scars on my body I’ve been afraid to share
If you would reject me, I couldn’t bear
I try all I can to heal the unloved and damaged
but the scars of my life let my freedom banished

Scars on my soul I’ve been afraid to share
If you would in truth turn out not to care
I try to heal the distorted, the needy vanity
but the scars of my life throws me into insanity

Scars in my heart I’ve been afraid to share
If you of my loneliness became aware
I try so hard to heal the void in my heart
by loving my scars, to love them as art

Thanking the scars for playing their part
In showing me where I from love am apart
For their unspoken ability to tell me the truth
“We, your scars, are your story but not truly you”

Original artwork, Original poetry

The Carousel of Love

So here I am again, thrown off the carousel of love
Lying here on my own with bruises no one knows of
Why was I not able to hold on to this magnificent ride?
I melted in your sweetness, was ready to pay the price

And even though I am now experienced in these hard crash landings
I still believe I fell with a dizzy head full of misunderstandings
And I believe, if I could just find clarity deep within my heart
We would still be on the ride together, not being separate, apart

But when I listen to the intuition of my soul and being
I know there’s something deep within I keep myself from seeing
And If I could just make the prison guards of my heart look away
I would ride the carousel of love with you again one day

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Violet Flames

Violet flames you burn all that’s unloved so I again can rise above
The stuck, fragmented and shoved, transforming pain into your love
Your violet flame has my being perfused, infusing me with a radiant truth
That all I hold on to in bringing feelings of sooth, it is now time to truly undo
Violet flames you are transforming my frights, into the sacred of all holy lights
I am burning to ashes my will and my frights, no longer scared of evil and heights
No longer letting my-self being bruised; no longer letting my-self be reduced
In your violet fire, I am seduced to live with your powerful truth perfused
No longer reducing myself to a peasant, in truth I am love and light in your essence
Violet flames in your evanescence, I am transformed in the light of your presence

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

I am Not the Cause of Pain

Something sits so deep within, I can’t escape the feeling
That it’s my fault that he’s in pain, that I obstruct his healing
That I am the cause of all his sadness, anger, pain and stress
If only I could be more love, more perfect, he would find rest

It is like deep within ‘my little child’ has this ‘mental stain’
Convinced that it is her fault her parents are in pain
Convinced that if she just were better her mother wouldn’t leave
Her father wouldn’t be depressed, and he would not retrieve

The trauma of abandonment has created this illusion of the mind
A story of imperfections and rejections that I seem unable to rewind
Unable to untangle me from my own and his illusions
I feed the beast of separateness with narratives of confusions

But when I feel deep within, not trying to escape the feeling
The confusion vanishes and reveals an opportunity for healing
To see that it’s not my imperfections that are the root course
To other beings’ vibrational pain of losing contact with ‘the source’

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sorry, Forgive me, I Love You, I Thank You

Sorry my dear for the hurt that I caused
For not seeing you, for my will being forced
For not softening to the ‘true you’ that’s behind
When not acknowledging that also I can be blind

Forgive me my dear for not realizing your love
For meeting your hurt with rejection and shove
For being so hard on you, stone-cold to the bone
When your sadness and tumult was only the known

I love you my dear for all that you are
For breaking my shield, for opening my scar
For mirroring my being’s light and projections
When being love amongst imperfections

I thank you me dear for the path we have walked
For words touching my heart without being balked
For your bravery, kindness, for your light shining through
When being in presence I know I AM you

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

We Didn’t Know Each Other

We didn’t know each other, but we knew ‘the space’
A joyous room, a placeless place
But the `space’ disappeared when you went away
My body got heavy, my mind went astray

We didn’t know each other, but our hearts recognized
A resonance of truth, and I then realized
I needed to belong to that which doesn’t disappear
To that which are ever-present even though you are not near

We didn’t know each other, but it felt like we did
When we were open, and nothing was hid
In that consciousness of belonging to the truth
We saw our lights, not what was bruised

We didn’t know each other in the realm of the intranscendental
But in the transcendental, we were out of ‘the mental’
Belonging to the knowing of light in our soul
The bruises were healed, I was again whole

We didn’t know each other as physical beings
Or the psychological baggage we were freeing
But being in each other’s presents did not only bring bliss
The distorted and painful sealed we would miss

We didn’t know each other, and I wonder if we ever will
‘Cause I won’t force you to be here, I won’t make that kill
I will live with my sorrow in the small things, as wide
left in wonder why you turned back, why you chose to hide

We didn’t know each other, but we loved the way it appeared
To happen out of nowhere without it being us who steered
But now it is us keeping our hearts apart and unseeing
What is really the truth in the depth of our being

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Holding On

Holding on to so much pain
In my body, spirit and soul
It runs through every artery and vein
I’m lost in a big black hole

I feel in every fibre of my being
Particularly in my belly and back
It stiffens the picture I’m seeing
Of a life in depletion and lack

It keeps me from being truly present
From feeling the light in my heart
Only the pounding beat of unpleasant
Makes my soul from my body depart

Holding on to what has been
A traumatic memory from the past
Sits as a vibration under my skin
Reducing my life, once so vast

Softening with compassion the turbulence
And accepting the resonance within
That swings to the tunes of disturbance
Loving the tightness of what has been

Letting go of my mind’s illusion
That life should be different and light
I’ll follow my deepest intuition
And give up my dreams with no fight

My body is in pain but I’ll stay
And listen to the message beneath
Tell me what are you trying to say
The healing is not out of reach

Whatever vibration is trapped
In my body and soul, I’ll release
My unconsciousness unwrapped
Surrender to living in peace

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Judgement Release

The day I will stop judging you
Will be the day I stop judging my self
But releasing such a deep imprint
And replace it with kindness and ease
Will be the day of no expectations
Will be the day I shed my old skin
And turn back to the love I once was
But am I really ready for this?
What makes me hold on to such pain
Of judging and perceptions of being judged?
I want to release this deep karmic imprint
‘Cause I don’t wish to say you are wrong
But my armour is strong as an army
Of angry men in a war
When I feel you judge who I am
I’ll defend myself to the core
But perhaps I should just let you win?
Let you kill me and leave me to bleed
Perhaps only then I will see
Everything is fine as it is

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.