Paralysed when I don’t hear from you My words of insecurity I can’t undo Tough as concrete but nothing new You are not just one but quite a few!
The story is the same with many different faces But seeing it in you, I can’t look at other places I want you back in my life, as with my presence When will I fully be love? Be fully my essence?
Will you come back and be my heart’s vocation? Or must I stay forever in this prison of penalisation? Or is my freedom in the ‘not escaping’ sensation? Life is freedom if not lived in paralysing separation
In longing for oneness, I see I long for you ‘man’ who can open my being; is it something you can? And can I let you love me fully into fluidity once again? Then my love will expand without being sprained
I often wonder if my longing for hearing from you Could be healed just by deeply knowing my blue In reality, is a gateway to my heartbeating’s glue Realising being with myself IS to be with you too
So here I am again, thrown off the carousel of love Lying here on my own with bruises no one knows of Why was I not able to hold on to this magnificent ride? I melted in your sweetness, was ready to pay the price
And even though I am now experienced in these hard crash landings I still believe I fell with a dizzy head full of misunderstandings And I believe, if I could just find clarity deep within my heart We would still be on the ride together, not being separate, apart
But when I listen to the intuition of my soul and being I know there’s something deep within I keep myself from seeing And If I could just make the prison guards of my heart look away I would ride the carousel of love with you again one day
Little man and little woman Longing for recognition from one another “Tell me I am pretty, tell me you love me“ And dare you take those words away from me
Little man and little woman So much out of yourself, you have lost all power Lost yourself in the other Reducing yourself to half a heart
Little man and little woman So ignorant of your own immense power So swirled up in the belief of half Lost touch with your wholeness of being
Little man and little woman How can you love one another if your heart is half? How can love flow from your being if you are not present? If you are wrapped up in stories of yesterday?
Little man and little woman Don’t reduce yourself to such little people Don’t do to yourself what your perpetrators did to you Be the one you always wished would save you
Little man and little woman Why not realize your immense beauty and power? Why not recognize that you deep down are fulfilled? That you are the one you have been looking for?
Little man and little woman It is time to realize that you are not such little people Realize that you are the unconditionally loving presence let this knowing penetrate all your layers of bewilderment
Little man and little woman Stop living these small lives Fall deeper into being You are the miracles of greatness!
Something sits so deep within, I can’t escape the feeling That it’s my fault that he’s in pain, that I obstruct his healing That I am the cause of all his sadness, anger, pain and stress If only I could be more love, more perfect, he would find rest
It is like deep within ‘my little child’ has this ‘mental stain’ Convinced that it is her fault her parents are in pain Convinced that if she just were better her mother wouldn’t leave Her father wouldn’t be depressed, and he would not retrieve
The trauma of abandonment has created this illusion of the mind A story of imperfections and rejections that I seem unable to rewind Unable to untangle me from my own and his illusions I feed the beast of separateness with narratives of confusions
But when I feel deep within, not trying to escape the feeling The confusion vanishes and reveals an opportunity for healing To see that it’s not my imperfections that are the root course To other beings’ vibrational pain of losing contact with ‘the source’
We didn’t know each other, but we knew ‘the space’ A joyous room, a placeless place But the `space’ disappeared when you went away My body got heavy, my mind went astray
We didn’t know each other, but our hearts recognized A resonance of truth, and I then realized I needed to belong to that which doesn’t disappear To that which are ever-present even though you are not near
We didn’t know each other, but it felt like we did When we were open, and nothing was hid In that consciousness of belonging to the truth We saw our lights, not what was bruised
We didn’t know each other in the realm of the intranscendental But in the transcendental, we were out of ‘the mental’ Belonging to the knowing of light in our soul The bruises were healed, I was again whole
We didn’t know each other as physical beings Or the psychological baggage we were freeing But being in each other’s presents did not only bring bliss The distorted and painful sealed we would miss
We didn’t know each other, and I wonder if we ever will ‘Cause I won’t force you to be here, I won’t make that kill I will live with my sorrow in the small things, as wide left in wonder why you turned back, why you chose to hide
We didn’t know each other, but we loved the way it appeared To happen out of nowhere without it being us who steered But now it is us keeping our hearts apart and unseeing What is really the truth in the depth of our being
The day I will stop judging you Will be the day I stop judging my self But releasing such a deep imprint And replace it with kindness and ease Will be the day of no expectations Will be the day I shed my old skin And turn back to the love I once was But am I really ready for this? What makes me hold on to such pain Of judging and perceptions of being judged? I want to release this deep karmic imprint ‘Cause I don’t wish to say you are wrong But my armour is strong as an army Of angry men in a war When I feel you judge who I am I’ll defend myself to the core But perhaps I should just let you win? Let you kill me and leave me to bleed Perhaps only then I will see Everything is fine as it is