Original artwork, Original poetry

Cold Man

If you don’t accept it’s your life
You’ll never get what you want
Never feel satisfied with what you have
With me in your life or not, you’ll be sad

When accepting things as they are
They are actually not so bad
If you always want more than you have
You’ll only be lonely and sad…

Being cold only makes it worse
You hurt yourself as much as me
Believe in yourself and your life
Set your happiness free!

Inside you know you are cold
Believing it’s the only way to survive
Stop running away from yourself
Don’t let your words be a lie!

Why punish me for your dissatisfaction
Please realise it’s not me but you
I’m sorry when things have been hard
But only you can change what you do!

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Fear

I’m so tired I could cry
I’m so hurt by your denial
Hurt ‘cause you didn’t see the tear in my eye?
Tired because my dreams are flying too high?

Oh, I’m so lonely here with you
I don’t know what I want you to do
I don’t know what I am doing wrong
And how I can keep going on being strong?

I’m stressed ‘cause of fear
And I can’t have you near
Have to live life on my own
With you, you know, I’m too alone…

Have fantasies of us together alone in a prison cell
And where the key is only I can tell
Maybe then you can see my tear
Maybe then I can accept my fear?

Maybe then I can let you come near
And you and I will become so clear
I will be awake all life long
And have no fear of going on…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Much Further Out

I am much further out
Than you think
So you don’t save me

Only remember the
Good times we had
Can you blame me

For wanting more
Than what we had?

Don’t want to slip away
From the land that is you

Please save me
From the river storms
Before I reach the ocean

Help me
Make the Angry thunder
Quiet

So I can sleep
Safely in your arms again

So I can cry
Without being taken away

From the land
That is you

I am much further out
Than you think
But I guess there’s still time

If I can just stop blaming me
For all the lives I’ve killed
On my river ride

And stop blaming you
For not seeing what’s behind!

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Chain of pain

Loved one, you see
My truth is never to hide
You can see and feel
All that I have inside…

Why should I pretend
My heart is free
When I know the chain of pain
Will never let me be?

I’d love to embrace
You had me opened
Give you my heart
I just fear it is broken…

So frightened I am
Life is so hard to go through
Staying strong and fearless
And staying true…

I feel like crying
When you are not near
So can you heal my heart
Help mending my fear?

Loved one, do you see
I’m trying to break the chain
I want to live life near you
I’d like to let go of the pain…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Next time

Next time
I’ll stand naked before your eyes
Vulnerable and strong
Have no more room for hidden cries!

An old picture changed
I couldn’t stand the pain
Through it way…

I can’t stand this pain
Put me in my old chain
If just you hadn’t asked me home
Then I wouldn’t have had to see my picture
In a brand-new frame…

I can’t take this fame!
I’m a master at this game…

But next time
I’ll stand naked before your eyes
Vulnerable and strong
I’ll end this game revealing my cries!

No more lies, no more cries
I’ll leave this game
Forget my fame…

Free from pain!

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sweet Little Lies

You have given her sweet little lies
To ease her pain
Sweet little lies
No anger, no blame!

But you couldn’t see you sweet one
It was a painful game
Your sweet little lies
Buried my name!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

I can’t ease my fear
You did her so wrong
Your sweet little lies
It killed all the strong!

You wanted the best
But only for you
Your world was for one
And not made for two!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

Your sweet little lies
I can’t have them near
They bring so much pain
They bring so much fear!

You eased her from pain
I don’t think it’s true
Your sweet little lies
They only eased you!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Dreamer’s Death

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
I’m killing myself
With self-hate and lies
I’ve been so alone
Saw no one else here
Been so alone
That I had nothing to fear
But you gave me hope
Believed in my dreams
And I took it all in me
Unwise as it now seems
‘Cause the dreams disappeared
Each time you saw away
Like you couldn’t keep your promises
And make the dreams stay

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
My dreams are hiding
A place much much too high
You made me a dreamer
But I am a naive and foolish one
Now too much a dreamer
To see reality beyond
But a dreamer without dreams
Is like laying in the grave
You must bring them back
Aren’t they worth to save?
You believed in them
Or was it just a lie?
I love you too much
So don’t let me die!

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sometimes

Sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t good enough
It’s just a word to say when you don’t know what else to do
But what can I do with your words
When my words can’t get through to you?

Sometimes I just need you to hold me
Hold me tight like you never let me go
I want to be the only one for you
But there are many others, I know

Sometimes I fear the future
Will it be alone, or will it be with you
I know I must forgive the past
But how? Please tell me what to do

Sometimes I cry lonely tears
I wonder why ‘cause you are near
Or is it just my imagination?
Perhaps the truth is what I fear?

Sometimes ‘sorry’ can’t heal my heart
I try to forgive but don’t know what to do
‘Cause I don’t trust you anymore
Though I love you, why can’t you love me too?

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Pray for Love

If you just were here today
I would do anything to make you stay
But you are always so far away
The only thing I can do is pray

Pray to God that you will see
That it is meant to be you and me
Oh God, I’m too free
It can’t be the way it has to be

It has to be something more
Than just another open door
I can’t describe what it was I saw
I just never felt this way before

Before I saw this new start
I was totally apart
You said you were a doctor, so smart
And then I gave you my broken heart

But you couldn’t see it was a broken one
‘Cause doctor, you just said for fun
And I was shining like a sun
‘Cause I had found my loved one

But things couldn’t be my way
I could not stay
I just hope to see you again one day
Oh God, I pray

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Healing the Layers Within

I can feel there are layers within me I just can’t reach
Layers of deep sadness there just won’t cease

Even though the outer layers are calm and collected
The deepest layer feels so frightened and unprotected

It longs to feel the sweetness of being
In all I am embracing, feeling and seeing

The sweet nectar of love, union and bliss
Now chocolate and sugar are the replacement for this

Unfortunately, this sweetness doesn’t last very long
And leaves me more empty and depressed after on

Indulging in this artificial and addictive behaviour
I have to deeply realise this is not my true saviour

And dare to feel the deep layers of hurt and hardness
To live my life truthfully in softness and vastness

To not escape the heavy prison of the unsettled mind
But transform it into the loving light and the bliss that is behind

Then even the deepest layer will not be captive of the dungeon’s fiction
And I can start living fully again despite pain, mental struggle and friction

I’ll fall deeper and deeper into the space of the heart
And let every layer of my being fall lovingly apart

Returning to oneness will be the faith of my soul
I’ll finally be healed, blissful and whole!

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.