Original artwork, Original poetry

Picture

That’s her life
I hope she is happy
Wonder if she knows
She’s got it?

Life living life
With mirrors
Breathing in
Out she goes…

That is her move
That is her light
Wonder if her choice
One day will end her cries?

Feelings with feelings
All-around
Never see the places
Always hear a sound…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Love

I love sitting
With you
In the airport terminal
So excited about
Where we are going to go
Together…

I love standing
With you
At the train station
Ready to go
Out where we
Have never been before
Together…

I love l lying
With you
In our bed
Ready to feel
What we have never
Felt before
Together…

I love
The smile in your eyes

I love
the strength of your life

I love
Your love has no size

With you I am
With you I stand
With you I see
All the beauty in me…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Fear

I’m so tired I could cry
I’m so hurt by your denial
Hurt ‘cause you didn’t see the tear in my eye?
Tired because my dreams are flying too high?

Oh, I’m so lonely here with you
I don’t know what I want you to do
I don’t know what I am doing wrong
And how I can keep going on being strong?

I’m stressed ‘cause of fear
And I can’t have you near
Have to live life on my own
With you, you know, I’m too alone…

Have fantasies of us together alone in a prison cell
And where the key is only I can tell
Maybe then you can see my tear
Maybe then I can accept my fear?

Maybe then I can let you come near
And you and I will become so clear
I will be awake all life long
And have no fear of going on…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Much Further Out

I am much further out
Than you think
So you don’t save me

Only remember the
Good times we had
Can you blame me

For wanting more
Than what we had?

Don’t want to slip away
From the land that is you

Please save me
From the river storms
Before I reach the ocean

Help me
Make the Angry thunder
Quiet

So I can sleep
Safely in your arms again

So I can cry
Without being taken away

From the land
That is you

I am much further out
Than you think
But I guess there’s still time

If I can just stop blaming me
For all the lives I’ve killed
On my river ride

And stop blaming you
For not seeing what’s behind!

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Chain of pain

Loved one, you see
My truth is never to hide
You can see and feel
All that I have inside…

Why should I pretend
My heart is free
When I know the chain of pain
Will never let me be?

I’d love to embrace
You had me opened
Give you my heart
I just fear it is broken…

So frightened I am
Life is so hard to go through
Staying strong and fearless
And staying true…

I feel like crying
When you are not near
So can you heal my heart
Help mending my fear?

Loved one, do you see
I’m trying to break the chain
I want to live life near you
I’d like to let go of the pain…

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Next time

Next time
I’ll stand naked before your eyes
Vulnerable and strong
Have no more room for hidden cries!

An old picture changed
I couldn’t stand the pain
Through it way…

I can’t stand this pain
Put me in my old chain
If just you hadn’t asked me home
Then I wouldn’t have had to see my picture
In a brand-new frame…

I can’t take this fame!
I’m a master at this game…

But next time
I’ll stand naked before your eyes
Vulnerable and strong
I’ll end this game revealing my cries!

No more lies, no more cries
I’ll leave this game
Forget my fame…

Free from pain!

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Alienated

You can only have me close
in my dreams
If only you could have me close
Oh, I wish…
Why push me away?
Is it so frightening to have me stay?
You are hurting me
Go away!

You are just like the rest
Am I the weird one here?
Is it only I
Who show my fear?
Is that the only way to survive
If not go and hide?
Life is hurting me
Let me live on your lie!

I put on makeup
To hide my truth
Hide my insecure
Frightened youth
Manipulating my self and you
With my sexy eyes
But no one is here
To share my cries…

So what’s to do?
Kill myself?
It would help us
Not you!
So shat? You’re a pretender
No horror
Can make you surrender
But it makes me remember…

Remember all the pain
When you pushed me away
Remember all my inner pain
When you let me stay
Always alone
Though I’m with you
If I’ve felt happiness
I doubt it was true…

I am weird
Not because I want to
Because I don’t know
What else to do!
Desperate trapped in emotions
Hurt feelings
Of a lost me and you
Is there really anything to do?

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sweet Little Lies

You have given her sweet little lies
To ease her pain
Sweet little lies
No anger, no blame!

But you couldn’t see you sweet one
It was a painful game
Your sweet little lies
Buried my name!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

I can’t ease my fear
You did her so wrong
Your sweet little lies
It killed all the strong!

You wanted the best
But only for you
Your world was for one
And not made for two!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

Your sweet little lies
I can’t have them near
They bring so much pain
They bring so much fear!

You eased her from pain
I don’t think it’s true
Your sweet little lies
They only eased you!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Desire

A scary feeling of desire
Is sneaking out of my skin
I have nowhere to hide it
And I just can’t hold it in!

Sometimes it feels so complicated
Like unframed modern art
It’s stronger than I dare to feel
And it’s tearing me apart!

Confronting my fear
Accepting the desire
Let me be part of your life
Scary feeling getting higher!

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Dreamer’s Death

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
I’m killing myself
With self-hate and lies
I’ve been so alone
Saw no one else here
Been so alone
That I had nothing to fear
But you gave me hope
Believed in my dreams
And I took it all in me
Unwise as it now seems
‘Cause the dreams disappeared
Each time you saw away
Like you couldn’t keep your promises
And make the dreams stay

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
My dreams are hiding
A place much much too high
You made me a dreamer
But I am a naive and foolish one
Now too much a dreamer
To see reality beyond
But a dreamer without dreams
Is like laying in the grave
You must bring them back
Aren’t they worth to save?
You believed in them
Or was it just a lie?
I love you too much
So don’t let me die!

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).