I have to throw up
Throw up all that I have inside
Throw up all my feelings!
Never shall I eat again
Eat the sadness of expectations
The sadness of an illusionary you!
All the time I’m breathing in my thoughts
My beliefs, breathing in my visions
I want to stop breathing all these feelings!
Never again shall I turn victimised
Victimised in the situation of you and I
An illusion that hurts me all the time
So I have to throw up
Throw up all I have inside
For every day, I’ve been fooled!
Then again I shall breathe in
All that I see is pure in me
And so release the illusion of you!
(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).
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