Original artwork, Original poetry

Desire

A scary feeling of desire
Is sneaking out of my skin
I have nowhere to hide it
And I just can’t hold it in!

Sometimes it feels so complicated
Like unframed modern art
It’s stronger than I dare to feel
And it’s tearing me apart!

Confronting my fear
Accepting the desire
Let me be part of your life
Scary feeling getting higher!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Dreamer’s Death

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
I’m killing myself
With self-hate and lies
I’ve been so alone
Saw no one else here
Been so alone
That I had nothing to fear
But you gave me hope
Believed in my dreams
And I took it all in me
Unwise as it now seems
‘Cause the dreams disappeared
Each time you saw away
Like you couldn’t keep your promises
And make the dreams stay

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
My dreams are hiding
A place much much too high
You made me a dreamer
But I am a naive and foolish one
Now too much a dreamer
To see reality beyond
But a dreamer without dreams
Is like laying in the grave
You must bring them back
Aren’t they worth to save?
You believed in them
Or was it just a lie?
I love you too much
So don’t let me die!

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sometimes

Sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t good enough
It’s just a word to say when you don’t know what else to do
But what can I do with your words
When my words can’t get through to you?

Sometimes I just need you to hold me
Hold me tight like you never let me go
I want to be the only one for you
But there are many others, I know

Sometimes I fear the future
Will it be alone, or will it be with you
I know I must forgive the past
But how? Please tell me what to do

Sometimes I cry lonely tears
I wonder why ‘cause you are near
Or is it just my imagination?
Perhaps the truth is what I fear?

Sometimes ‘sorry’ can’t heal my heart
I try to forgive but don’t know what to do
‘Cause I don’t trust you anymore
Though I love you, why can’t you love me too?

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Pray for Love

If you just were here today
I would do anything to make you stay
But you are always so far away
The only thing I can do is pray

Pray to God that you will see
That it is meant to be you and me
Oh God, I’m too free
It can’t be the way it has to be

It has to be something more
Than just another open door
I can’t describe what it was I saw
I just never felt this way before

Before I saw this new start
I was totally apart
You said you were a doctor, so smart
And then I gave you my broken heart

But you couldn’t see it was a broken one
‘Cause doctor, you just said for fun
And I was shining like a sun
‘Cause I had found my loved one

But things couldn’t be my way
I could not stay
I just hope to see you again one day
Oh God, I pray

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Healing the Layers Within

I can feel there are layers within me I just can’t reach
Layers of deep sadness there just won’t cease

Even though the outer layers are calm and collected
The deepest layer feels so frightened and unprotected

It longs to feel the sweetness of being
In all I am embracing, feeling and seeing

The sweet nectar of love, union and bliss
Now chocolate and sugar are the replacement for this

Unfortunately, this sweetness doesn’t last very long
And leaves me more empty and depressed after on

Indulging in this artificial and addictive behaviour
I have to deeply realise this is not my true saviour

And dare to feel the deep layers of hurt and hardness
To live my life truthfully in softness and vastness

To not escape the heavy prison of the unsettled mind
But transform it into the loving light and the bliss that is behind

Then even the deepest layer will not be captive of the dungeon’s fiction
And I can start living fully again despite pain, mental struggle and friction

I’ll fall deeper and deeper into the space of the heart
And let every layer of my being fall lovingly apart

Returning to oneness will be the faith of my soul
I’ll finally be healed, blissful and whole!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

The Key to Her Heart

Why does my inner child still believe she is apart?
And looks for that someone with the key to her heart?
That lost little girl just waiting for you to take her hand
Believes she can’t survive if she on her own has to stand

But what that little girl just don’t catch
Is that no one outside has a key that’s a match
All along, I have been the one holding the key
The love she longs for is inside of me!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

The Only Picture Left of You

I stroke your chin on my mobile phone
The only picture left of you
Reality hit so hard, I had to face the truth
Our love was never cut in stone…

I look in your eyes on my mobile phone
The only picture left of you
Why couldn’t you be the man I adored?
I saw your potential but should have known…

I kiss your lips on my mobile phone
The only picture left of you
I still feel your presence so strong
But our love was only on loan…

I hold your essence on my mobile phone
The only picture left of you
I feel the void, a contraction in my being
Painfully cutting deep to the bone!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Afraid of Drowning

You are afraid of the deep, afraid of me
Living your life on shallow waters
You are scared of drowning out at sea

You have to have faith and follow your heart
To sink beneath the waves
Where stillness shows we are not apart

You are pulled to me, to the deep blue sea
But choose to ride your boat with speed
Instead of becoming all you can be

I wish you would leave your safety west on deck
And let the water penetrate your being
Surrendering with no fear and no regret

You see, you have a choice between safe and true
Playing in shallow waters and cruising the waves
Or diving deep to find the real authentic you!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Pledge to my Heart

I have to realise that you are way too much in fear
The games your mind play mean you can’t have me near
I appreciate ‘our space’ but know I have to let you go
I have to find my strength, that I to my own heart owe

I owe my heart to be with ‘you’
Who can love me so fully all my patterns undo
Who can be authentic, distinguishable from the ‘coof’
A grownup manifesting the love of truth!

Until the day ‘you’ will appear
I’ll love my heart and all its fear
I’ll be the wholeness of a burning presence
For ‘you’ to appear in the light of my essence

Then we can flow into the play of love
Manifesting qualities from high above
The light will shine through me, and I’ll know I’m not lost
Being true to my heart no matter the cost!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

To My Inner Child

I am sorry for leaving you
I didn’t know any better
But I am here for you now
I will not judge you, Ignore you
Project on to you, like they do!

I will thank them and let them be
So I can take care of what’s in me
You, my dear, my sweet innocent child
I’ll never leave you again
So much hurt I caused, you had to flee!

Forgive me, dear child, I was lost
But I’m coming home now
I’ll hold you, love, and protect you
You’re no longer threatened on your survival
My flight has had too high a cost!

Now rest peacefully in my presence
This is a new beginning
I am no longer lost in the world
You, my dear, are my light shining bright
You are my joy and my essence!

It is time to laugh, play and be
My inner child, I am here now
I am home again to stay
The nightmare is over
You are finally free!

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.