Original artwork, Original poetry


You can only have me close
in my dreams
If only you could have me close
Oh, I wish…
Why push me away?
Is it so frightening to have me stay?
You are hurting me
Go away!

You are just like the rest
Am I the weird one here?
Is it only I
Who show my fear?
Is that the only way to survive
If not go and hide?
Life is hurting me
Let me live on your lie!

I put on makeup
To hide my truth
Hide my insecure
Frightened youth
Manipulating my self and you
With my sexy eyes
But no one is here
To share my cries…

So what’s to do?
Kill myself?
It would help us
Not you!
So shat? You’re a pretender
No horror
Can make you surrender
But it makes me remember…

Remember all the pain
When you pushed me away
Remember all my inner pain
When you let me stay
Always alone
Though I’m with you
If I’ve felt happiness
I doubt it was true…

I am weird
Not because I want to
Because I don’t know
What else to do!
Desperate trapped in emotions
Hurt feelings
Of a lost me and you
Is there really anything to do?

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

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