Original artwork, Original poetry

Alienated

You can only have me close
in my dreams
If only you could have me close
Oh, I wish…
Why push me away?
Is it so frightening to have me stay?
You are hurting me
Go away!

You are just like the rest
Am I the weird one here?
Is it only I
Who show my fear?
Is that the only way to survive
If not go and hide?
Life is hurting me
Let me live on your lie!

I put on makeup
To hide my truth
Hide my insecure
Frightened youth
Manipulating my self and you
With my sexy eyes
But no one is here
To share my cries…

So what’s to do?
Kill myself?
It would help us
Not you!
So shat? You’re a pretender
No horror
Can make you surrender
But it makes me remember…

Remember all the pain
When you pushed me away
Remember all my inner pain
When you let me stay
Always alone
Though I’m with you
If I’ve felt happiness
I doubt it was true…

I am weird
Not because I want to
Because I don’t know
What else to do!
Desperate trapped in emotions
Hurt feelings
Of a lost me and you
Is there really anything to do?

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sweet Little Lies

You have given her sweet little lies
To ease her pain
Sweet little lies
No anger, no blame!

But you couldn’t see you sweet one
It was a painful game
Your sweet little lies
Buried my name!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

I can’t ease my fear
You did her so wrong
Your sweet little lies
It killed all the strong!

You wanted the best
But only for you
Your world was for one
And not made for two!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

Your sweet little lies
I can’t have them near
They bring so much pain
They bring so much fear!

You eased her from pain
I don’t think it’s true
Your sweet little lies
They only eased you!

You wanted your fame
So destructive a game
Oh, so much pain
When you buried my name…

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Desire

A scary feeling of desire
Is sneaking out of my skin
I have nowhere to hide it
And I just can’t hold it in!

Sometimes it feels so complicated
Like unframed modern art
It’s stronger than I dare to feel
And it’s tearing me apart!

Confronting my fear
Accepting the desire
Let me be part of your life
Scary feeling getting higher!

© 2022 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine. It was written in 2003 and was the last poem written in my youth (from 1998-2003). Originally the drawing had a title ”Why don’t you want me?”, which reflected the deep feeling of neglect and loneliness I experienced through my youth).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Dreamer’s Death

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
I’m killing myself
With self-hate and lies
I’ve been so alone
Saw no one else here
Been so alone
That I had nothing to fear
But you gave me hope
Believed in my dreams
And I took it all in me
Unwise as it now seems
‘Cause the dreams disappeared
Each time you saw away
Like you couldn’t keep your promises
And make the dreams stay

I don’t want to live
And I don’t want to die
My dreams are hiding
A place much much too high
You made me a dreamer
But I am a naive and foolish one
Now too much a dreamer
To see reality beyond
But a dreamer without dreams
Is like laying in the grave
You must bring them back
Aren’t they worth to save?
You believed in them
Or was it just a lie?
I love you too much
So don’t let me die!

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sometimes

Sometimes ‘sorry’ isn’t good enough
It’s just a word to say when you don’t know what else to do
But what can I do with your words
When my words can’t get through to you?

Sometimes I just need you to hold me
Hold me tight like you never let me go
I want to be the only one for you
But there are many others, I know

Sometimes I fear the future
Will it be alone, or will it be with you
I know I must forgive the past
But how? Please tell me what to do

Sometimes I cry lonely tears
I wonder why ‘cause you are near
Or is it just my imagination?
Perhaps the truth is what I fear?

Sometimes ‘sorry’ can’t heal my heart
I try to forgive but don’t know what to do
‘Cause I don’t trust you anymore
Though I love you, why can’t you love me too?

© 2021 Original artwork and poetry by heartlightpoetry. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).

Original artwork, Original poetry

A Pray for Love

If you just were here today
I would do anything to make you stay
But you are always so far away
The only thing I can do is pray

Pray to God that you will see
That it is meant to be you and me
Oh God, I’m too free
It can’t be the way it has to be

It has to be something more
Than just another open door
I can’t describe what it was I saw
I just never felt this way before

Before I saw this new start
I was totally apart
You said you were a doctor, so smart
And then I gave you my broken heart

But you couldn’t see it was a broken one
‘Cause doctor, you just said for fun
And I was shining like a sun
‘Cause I had found my loved one

But things couldn’t be my way
I could not stay
I just hope to see you again one day
Oh God, I pray

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

(This poem is from an old collection of mine, written in my late teens/ early twenties during the time of the new millennium).