Original artwork, Original poetry

I am Not the Cause of Pain

Something sits so deep within, I can’t escape the feeling
That it’s my fault that he’s in pain, that I obstruct his healing
That I am the cause of all his sadness, anger, pain and stress
If only I could be more love, more perfect, he would find rest

It is like deep within ‘my little child’ has this ‘mental stain’
Convinced that it is her fault her parents are in pain
Convinced that if she just were better her mother wouldn’t leave
Her father wouldn’t be depressed, and he would not retrieve

The trauma of abandonment has created this illusion of the mind
A story of imperfections and rejections that I seem unable to rewind
Unable to untangle me from my own and his illusions
I feed the beast of separateness with narratives of confusions

But when I feel deep within, not trying to escape the feeling
The confusion vanishes and reveals an opportunity for healing
To see that it’s not my imperfections that are the root course
To other beings’ vibrational pain of losing contact with ‘the source’

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Sorry, Forgive me, I Love You, I Thank You

Sorry my dear for the hurt that I caused
For not seeing you, for my will being forced
For not softening to the ‘true you’ that’s behind
When not acknowledging that also I can be blind

Forgive me my dear for not realizing your love
For meeting your hurt with rejection and shove
For being so hard on you, stone-cold to the bone
When your sadness and tumult was only the known

I love you my dear for all that you are
For breaking my shield, for opening my scar
For mirroring my being’s light and projections
When being love amongst imperfections

I thank you me dear for the path we have walked
For words touching my heart without being balked
For your bravery, kindness, for your light shining through
When being in presence I know I AM you

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Awakening

Sleepwalking beings hurrying through their lives
Married to an illusion as husbands and wives
Fighting for themselves, for their part and appreciation
Chasing every illuminated thrilling sensation

They are only able to feel themselves in light of the other
Playing a well-rehearsed role as partner, father and mother
But when they start to tune in to the voice of their hearts
They will see they are more, more deep and more vast

Wakening up, they will begin to realize and see
That the world is so much more than just a “you and a me”
That there are nowhere to hurry, no end goal to achieve
Nothing and no one can in truth bring relief

Now consciously slowing the paste of their lives
No longer referring to their mind’s outdated archives
Unlocking their love to share with the world
No longer they are stagnant, at sleep and furled

They are now fluid, free beings at peace
In a world of tumults, they go through with ease
No longer fighting, being ignorant or wavering
But illuminated beings who are truly awakening

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

We Didn’t Know Each Other

We didn’t know each other, but we knew ‘the space’
A joyous room, a placeless place
But the `space’ disappeared when you went away
My body got heavy, my mind went astray

We didn’t know each other, but our hearts recognized
A resonance of truth, and I then realized
I needed to belong to that which doesn’t disappear
To that which are ever-present even though you are not near

We didn’t know each other, but it felt like we did
When we were open, and nothing was hid
In that consciousness of belonging to the truth
We saw our lights, not what was bruised

We didn’t know each other in the realm of the intranscendental
But in the transcendental, we were out of ‘the mental’
Belonging to the knowing of light in our soul
The bruises were healed, I was again whole

We didn’t know each other as physical beings
Or the psychological baggage we were freeing
But being in each other’s presents did not only bring bliss
The distorted and painful sealed we would miss

We didn’t know each other, and I wonder if we ever will
‘Cause I won’t force you to be here, I won’t make that kill
I will live with my sorrow in the small things, as wide
left in wonder why you turned back, why you chose to hide

We didn’t know each other, but we loved the way it appeared
To happen out of nowhere without it being us who steered
But now it is us keeping our hearts apart and unseeing
What is really the truth in the depth of our being

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Holding On

Holding on to so much pain
In my body, spirit and soul
It runs through every artery and vein
I’m lost in a big black hole

I feel in every fibre of my being
Particularly in my belly and back
It stiffens the picture I’m seeing
Of a life in depletion and lack

It keeps me from being truly present
From feeling the light in my heart
Only the pounding beat of unpleasant
Makes my soul from my body depart

Holding on to what has been
A traumatic memory from the past
Sits as a vibration under my skin
Reducing my life, once so vast

Softening with compassion the turbulence
And accepting the resonance within
That swings to the tunes of disturbance
Loving the tightness of what has been

Letting go of my mind’s illusion
That life should be different and light
I’ll follow my deepest intuition
And give up my dreams with no fight

My body is in pain but I’ll stay
And listen to the message beneath
Tell me what are you trying to say
The healing is not out of reach

Whatever vibration is trapped
In my body and soul, I’ll release
My unconsciousness unwrapped
Surrender to living in peace

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Judgement Release

The day I will stop judging you
Will be the day I stop judging my self
But releasing such a deep imprint
And replace it with kindness and ease
Will be the day of no expectations
Will be the day I shed my old skin
And turn back to the love I once was
But am I really ready for this?
What makes me hold on to such pain
Of judging and perceptions of being judged?
I want to release this deep karmic imprint
‘Cause I don’t wish to say you are wrong
But my armour is strong as an army
Of angry men in a war
When I feel you judge who I am
I’ll defend myself to the core
But perhaps I should just let you win?
Let you kill me and leave me to bleed
Perhaps only then I will see
Everything is fine as it is

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Coming Home

Lonely heart let’s go back to the start
Before all we did were searching
For signs of life on the outside
Even though we knew he had been dead for years
We were traumatised by what we relived but revised
Starting fresh would have to mean progress
Letting go of all the old memories of pain
The stories of hurt and abandonment

To live in ‘the Now’ we must find a way to
Abolish projection and judgement
And surrender to all that there are
Though his absence is constantly paining us
It points to the core of our trauma
Constantly looking for him to get back
To rewrite the part where he left us
And leading me to leave you ever since

Healing our pain while accepting my eyes
Always will look for signs of life
For a way that he can come back
Even though we are convinced it can’t happen
Broken heart lets go back to start
Before you turned half and I lost life while living
Let’s go back to the start before He fell ill
Before he fell short of being what we needed

Let’s softening to the pain, falling back into being
I’m coming home now

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Vanishing

One moment we are here, the next we are gone
But the pain of you leaving me is still holding on
Will this feeling be with me till the day that I die?
Or can I release this burden, grow wings and fly?
Fly to the light of love, beauty and truth
Where it is not you leaving but me leaving you
But as long as the imprint of pain sits so deep in my soul
I will never feel free, I will never feel whole
First when I vanish completely and true
I’ll see, that being open and tender is all I can do
I’ll stop working so hard for my will to survive
Finally, surrender, vanish and fly

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Breaking Out of Your Spell

I’m breaking out of your spell, though it has been a fight
But freedom has come back living with nothing to hide
Letting the rays of the sun penetrate again my soul and being
Opening my heart to all the bliss and joy that I am seeing

For days I was lost ‘course I made my heart small
Thought you were the one making me stand tall
I realised how embraced I am with joy, love and affection
And how I got addicted to you let to a crippling affliction

Because I lost touch with the true dimension inside
I felt my honest heart had to bend and make lies
To keep the love of light flowing from your presence
Instead, it turned me into a poor begging peasant

But now I can feel I am breaking out of your spell
And I am back with my own sacred story to tell
A story of staying true to yourself whatever the way
Then what no longer serves you will no longer stay

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Crazy Times

It’s crazy that we are still standing here
So rootless after more than a whole year
Why are we still in much pain and fear?

When do we for real rise in sincerity?
Bringing out the deepest of clarity
Living this NOW in total transparency

Wanting to shine with grace, goodness and ease
Devoting my life to the truth that’s beneath
Where no one is strangers, and everyone sees

Beneath it all I know there is a soft space of silence
That is bringing peace, clarity and guidance
A knowing of love that will end all the violence

End all the confusion, tension and drama
Releasing oceans of build-up negative karma
No need for distractions, no need for ‘pharma’

In these crazy times, we will still stand
Despite all the struggles, restrictions and ban
We will unite as woman and man

Crazy times, though being hard as it is
Has also a hidden purl of bliss
Which can be felt in a smile or a kiss

So, let me soften with your presence near
Caringly nurture the child that we bear
Keeping our hearts open for all our fear

Living this now in total surrender and embrace
I won’t worry about the things that we’ll face
There will be nothing left on the outside to chase

So, let these crazy times unfold and be felt
I’m sure all that’s stock will be starting to melt
And only the ashes from the old will be smelt

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.