Original artwork, Original poetry

Alone in the Darkest of Nights

So sad, so angry and frustrated
So difficult to even breathe
The sweetness in my soul mutilated
Nowhere to find rest or ease

So angry at you for being you
A small-minded, egocentric illusionist
So unforgiving what you do
Or am I just being a pessimist?

So much pain inside my soul
I can barely find the will to live
The world seems so shallow and cold
I have no power to receive nor give

For the kids, I’ll stay alive and true
Though you hurt me in every act of life
And I’ll still carry the heavy burden of you
Though I myself am more dead than alive

So where did all the shining happiness go?
The laughter, the love, joy and bliss?
My being has reached a higher low
Forever confined, so much I have missed

I’m trapped in a very dark place
With no colour or light shining through
You just tell me it’s not a true space
And I really want to believe you

But I am trapped, angry and sad
And it feels very real and alive
I lose touch with all I have had
So lost I don’t know how to thrive

The darkness is all I can feel and see
And It’s felt with sorrows and frights
With the knowing that no one will save me
I am alone in the darkest of nights

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Breathing

I breathe through the sadness in my chest
Though my heart is heavy and can’t find rest
I longed for union, for love to expand
But all I was left with was a frustrated man

Then You appeared who could see my pain
And you became a drug to keep me sane
You became my sweet escape, my illusion
But now I am left in a lonely confusion

‘Cause what you showed me was so real and true
And was transcending what is just me and you
But then you vanished in a blink of an eye
Leaving me with a feeling it was all a lie

Leaving me with nowhere to escape
Forced to face the discomfort I co-create
That it has never been your power to set me free
All along the power has been inside of me

The truth is you were just a wonderful distraction
But with your absence, I was forced to face my reactions
To see the truth that in my longing for emancipation
I was too fast in chasing the expanding sensation

Instead of staying true to the knowledge I see
That nothing and no one can really set me free
Only by not trying to escape “the frustrated man”
Can I be free and get love to expand

Therefore I breathe through the sadness in my chest
In the hope and wish I can one day find rest
And be with “man” no matter his form or fear
That by loving it all I can hold “him” near

Near to the truth of love and light in my heart
Transcending it all, rewriting my part
So that “frustrated man” and the one who’s beyond
Again, can be whole, again can be one

Then I will breathe without the sadness in my chest
In the knowledge of my heart has found its rest
The union I longed for will then come true
With every being I meet, not only you

Then I won’t need you to escape my life
‘Cause I will be all I need to thrive
‘Cause I’m no longer the ‘little me’ I used to be
In breathing the truth, I will be set free

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Reflection

Why are you doing this to me?
Can’t you see that this is killing me?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Why can’t I differentiate between our cells?
And see that you are just a reflection
Of my inner scenery, my subconscious spells

Why are we doing this to “us”?
Is it more than just pure “lust”?
Why are we confused and confined?
Why are we not seeing what’s behind?
That the love is real and pure
And is always here to find

Why am I still distorted and vain?
Why do I resist going through all this pain?
Why can’t I accept that this is meant to be?
That with or without you I am happy and free?
And thanking you for mirroring the truth
That I am the one leaving me

Why can’t I see you for who you are?
A mere reflection of my own inner scar
As well as reflecting the light that’s within
That has never left, that has always been
Coming home to what is real
That true love will always win

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Hello

Hello – Just wanted to know if you are near?
I am finally alone without all the screaming in my ear
All I long for is to be out of this madness
Embracing love, letting go of my sadness

Hello – Just wanted to tell you I am here
Saying yes to this love despite of my fear
Despite of all the tightness I feel inside
I no longer wish to make riddles, to run or to hide

Hello – Are you real and are you here?
Or are you just an illusion vanished in fear?
I feel so much beauty and how it again is to thrive
The presence within you is transforming my life

Hello?

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Superhuman

Need to be a superhuman to be with you
To face all the pain and still staying true
Superhuman, opening to love within
Accepting all, feeling no sin

Superhuman, seeking the truth with an open heart
Opening to the deep while not falling apart
Pain rising, old beliefs of what is meant to be
While longing to be one, letting go of the small “me”

Need to be a superhuman to stay true to the “we”
But in the absence of presence there is only a “me”
Can I be whole? All embracing and free?
A superhuman, that is what I need to be

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

A soul-baring fee

You deleted me
Can’t you see
what this does to me?
There is no way to be free
It brings me to my knee

You opened me
and I believed in a “we”
How can this be
you can’t be true to me?
It’s a soul-baring fee

I deleted “me”
Can’t I see
what this does to me?
There is no way to be free
It brings me to my knee

I opened “me”
when I believed in a “we”
How can this be
I can’t be true to what I see?
It’s a soul-baring fee

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Cautious heart

Cautious heart

Cautious heart
I should have known
already from the beginning
the picture was clearly painted
Why did I choose to ignore it?

Cautious heart
I can’t let go of feeling hurt
The picture I visioned
was so much bigger
Why can’t you be true to it?

Cautious heart
I feel the contraction
Can hardly be in my body
though I know I am the painter
of my own canvas
Why does it pain so much?

Cautious heart
I should have known
Can’t let go of feeling hurt
I feel the contraction
Why did I choose to ignore it?

Cautious heart
Already from the beginning
Could hardly be in my body
Can’t let go of feeling hurt
Why can’t I be true to it?

Cautious heart
the picture is clearly painted
it is so much bigger
than the frame of my own canvas
Why does it pain so much?

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.