Original artwork, Original poetry

Coming Home

Lonely heart let’s go back to the start
Before all we did were searching
For signs of life on the outside
Even though we knew he had been dead for years
We were traumatised by what we relived but revised
Starting fresh would have to mean progress
Letting go of all the old memories of pain
The stories of hurt and abandonment

To live in ‘the Now’ we must find a way to
Abolish projection and judgement
And surrender to all that there are
Though his absence is constantly paining us
It points to the core of our trauma
Constantly looking for him to get back
To rewrite the part where he left us
And leading me to leave you ever since

Healing our pain while accepting my eyes
Always will look for signs of life
For a way that he can come back
Even though we are convinced it can’t happen
Broken heart lets go back to start
Before you turned half and I lost life while living
Let’s go back to the start before He fell ill
Before he fell short of being what we needed

Let’s softening to the pain, falling back into being
I’m coming home now

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Vanishing

One moment we are here, the next we are gone
But the pain of you leaving me is still holding on
Will this feeling be with me till the day that I die?
Or can I release this burden, grow wings and fly?
Fly to the light of love, beauty and truth
Where it is not you leaving but me leaving you
But as long as the imprint of pain sits so deep in my soul
I will never feel free, I will never feel whole
First when I vanish completely and true
I’ll see, that being open and tender is all I can do
I’ll stop working so hard for my will to survive
Finally, surrender, vanish and fly

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Breaking Out of Your Spell

I’m breaking out of your spell, though it has been a fight
But freedom has come back living with nothing to hide
Letting the rays of the sun penetrate again my soul and being
Opening my heart to all the bliss and joy that I am seeing

For days I was lost ‘course I made my heart small
Thought you were the one making me stand tall
I realised how embraced I am with joy, love and affection
And how I got addicted to you let to a crippling affliction

Because I lost touch with the true dimension inside
I felt my honest heart had to bend and make lies
To keep the love of light flowing from your presence
Instead, it turned me into a poor begging peasant

But now I can feel I am breaking out of your spell
And I am back with my own sacred story to tell
A story of staying true to yourself whatever the way
Then what no longer serves you will no longer stay

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Crazy Times

It’s crazy that we are still standing here
So rootless after more than a whole year
Why are we still in much pain and fear?

When do we for real rise in sincerity?
Bringing out the deepest of clarity
Living this NOW in total transparency

Wanting to shine with grace, goodness and ease
Devoting my life to the truth that’s beneath
Where no one is strangers, and everyone sees

Beneath it all I know there is a soft space of silence
That is bringing peace, clarity and guidance
A knowing of love that will end all the violence

End all the confusion, tension and drama
Releasing oceans of build-up negative karma
No need for distractions, no need for ‘pharma’

In these crazy times, we will still stand
Despite all the struggles, restrictions and ban
We will unite as woman and man

Crazy times, though being hard as it is
Has also a hidden purl of bliss
Which can be felt in a smile or a kiss

So, let me soften with your presence near
Caringly nurture the child that we bear
Keeping our hearts open for all our fear

Living this now in total surrender and embrace
I won’t worry about the things that we’ll face
There will be nothing left on the outside to chase

So, let these crazy times unfold and be felt
I’m sure all that’s stock will be starting to melt
And only the ashes from the old will be smelt

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Lying Man

Lying man why can’t you stay true
To the splendid moments of just me and you?
What happened since you closed the door
And left me bleeding on the floor?

Why didn’t you just once reply
When I was screaming for my life?
Are the world we made an empty shine
Blinding our way for the Devine?

Lying man, I will tell you this
You vanishing won’t steal my bliss
Your dishonesty won’t kill my soul
My bleeding heart has made me bold

Bold as a child, innocent, open and free
Can you be as brave then come and meet me
I will see beneath your hiding and lies
I’ll see the truthful heart in your eyes

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Alone in the Darkest of Nights

So sad, so angry and frustrated
So difficult to even breathe
The sweetness in my soul mutilated
Nowhere to find rest or ease

So angry at you for being you
A small-minded, egocentric illusionist
So unforgiving what you do
Or am I just being a pessimist?

So much pain inside my soul
I can barely find the will to live
The world seems so shallow and cold
I have no power to receive nor give

For the kids, I’ll stay alive and true
Though you hurt me in every act of life
And I’ll still carry the heavy burden of you
Though I myself am more dead than alive

So where did all the shining happiness go?
The laughter, the love, joy and bliss?
My being has reached a higher low
Forever confined, so much I have missed

I’m trapped in a very dark place
With no colour or light shining through
You just tell me it’s not a true space
And I really want to believe you

But I am trapped, angry and sad
And it feels very real and alive
I lose touch with all I have had
So lost I don’t know how to thrive

The darkness is all I can feel and see
And It’s felt with sorrows and frights
With the knowing that no one will save me
I am alone in the darkest of nights

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Breathing

I breathe through the sadness in my chest
Though my heart is heavy and can’t find rest
I longed for union, for love to expand
But all I was left with was a frustrated man

Then You appeared who could see my pain
And you became a drug to keep me sane
You became my sweet escape, my illusion
But now I am left in a lonely confusion

‘Cause what you showed me was so real and true
And was transcending what is just me and you
But then you vanished in a blink of an eye
Leaving me with a feeling it was all a lie

Leaving me with nowhere to escape
Forced to face the discomfort I co-create
That it has never been your power to set me free
All along the power has been inside of me

The truth is you were just a wonderful distraction
But with your absence, I was forced to face my reactions
To see the truth that in my longing for emancipation
I was too fast in chasing the expanding sensation

Instead of staying true to the knowledge I see
That nothing and no one can really set me free
Only by not trying to escape “the frustrated man”
Can I be free and get love to expand

Therefore I breathe through the sadness in my chest
In the hope and wish I can one day find rest
And be with “man” no matter his form or fear
That by loving it all I can hold “him” near

Near to the truth of love and light in my heart
Transcending it all, rewriting my part
So that “frustrated man” and the one who’s beyond
Again, can be whole, again can be one

Then I will breathe without the sadness in my chest
In the knowledge of my heart has found its rest
The union I longed for will then come true
With every being I meet, not only you

Then I won’t need you to escape my life
‘Cause I will be all I need to thrive
‘Cause I’m no longer the ‘little me’ I used to be
In breathing the truth, I will be set free

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Reflection

Why are you doing this to me?
Can’t you see that this is killing me?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Why can’t I differentiate between our cells?
And see that you are just a reflection
Of my inner scenery, my subconscious spells

Why are we doing this to “us”?
Is it more than just pure “lust”?
Why are we confused and confined?
Why are we not seeing what’s behind?
That the love is real and pure
And is always here to find

Why am I still distorted and vain?
Why do I resist going through all this pain?
Why can’t I accept that this is meant to be?
That with or without you I am happy and free?
And thanking you for mirroring the truth
That I am the one leaving me

Why can’t I see you for who you are?
A mere reflection of my own inner scar
As well as reflecting the light that’s within
That has never left, that has always been
Coming home to what is real
That true love will always win

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Hello

Hello – Just wanted to know if you are near?
I am finally alone without all the screaming in my ear
All I long for is to be out of this madness
Embracing love, letting go of my sadness

Hello – Just wanted to tell you I am here
Saying yes to this love despite of my fear
Despite of all the tightness I feel inside
I no longer wish to make riddles, to run or to hide

Hello – Are you real and are you here?
Or are you just an illusion vanished in fear?
I feel so much beauty and how it again is to thrive
The presence within you is transforming my life

Hello?

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.

Original artwork, Original poetry

Superhuman

Need to be a superhuman to be with you
To face all the pain and still staying true
Superhuman, opening to love within
Accepting all, feeling no sin

Superhuman, seeking the truth with an open heart
Opening to the deep while not falling apart
Pain rising, old beliefs of what is meant to be
While longing to be one, letting go of the small “me”

Need to be a superhuman to stay true to the “we”
But in the absence of presence there is only a “me”
Can I be whole? All embracing and free?
A superhuman, that is what I need to be

© 2021 Original painting and poetry by heartlight.blog. All rights reserved.